Waterdeep Wazoo, 28th of Tarsakh to 4th of Mirtul, 1493 DR (April 28 to May 4th, 2021)
"Outbreak of novel form of the zombie plague in Waterdeep"
Tarsakh 29, 1493 DR
A new variant of the zombie plague has been detected in the sewers of Waterdeep. The Castle of Waterdeep's Center for Undead Protection advises that this variant is likely no more dangerous than ordinary zombieism. "Just take normal precautions--like washing your hands after meals--and everything should turn out fine. The Center for Undead Protection has no reason to believe that this new variant will not remained contained in the sewers."
Some fearmongers are stirring up panic, advising the public to avoid halflings--based on the deeply offensive stereotype that all halflings are wererats. There is NO arcane connection between lycanthropy and any form of zombieism--and the idea that halflings are more likely to carry this new zombie plague is deeply offensive and retrograde.
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"Night of the Wolf" in the Field Ward
Tarsakh 30, 1493 DR
According to rumors from several sources in the Field Ward, a strange sporting event/festival took place yesterday. From what we have been able to piece together--a druid, known as "Dawn Age Pervert" apparently purchased several wolves from Ulysses Selemchant--an exotic animal dealer, and Chultish exile of Amnian extraction.
These wolves were then painted in elaborate colors by an entourage of beautiful women who follow the strange mystical teachings of DAP. After a grand feast, the wolves were unleashed, and DAP and his followers watched, followed and cheered, as a massive beast known as "Sharptooth" hunted down and killed the wolves. At this point, the DAPists celebrated the hunt with a new song--which apparently went something like this:
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Darken the city, night is a wireSteam in the sewers, earth is a afire
Do do do do do do do dodo dododo dodo
When asked for comment, representatives of the government in the Castle of Waterdeep had no official comment.
Archdruid Laucian Galanodel of the Waterdeep Zoological Gardens stated: "This 'Sharptooth' is almost certainly the same animal as "King Ubtao," who was recently stolen by Dawn Age Pervert, in a crime which the City Watch has not taken ANY ACTION ON. We cannot allow for such insurrection, and open assaults upon the sacred zoological research institutions of our city to go unanswered. There are certain drawings in popular circulation--which show this alleged "Dawn Age Pervert" flexing half-naked from the high podium of the Druid's Grove. We must take immediate action against this dangerous threat to the integrity and dignity of druidism."
Captain Jalester Silvermane, leader of the City Watch in the Castle Ward where the Zoological Gardens are located--provided the following comment: "While we understand Archdruid Galanodel's concerns--the City Watch is currently stretched to its limits dealing with the ongoing gang war, drug trade, and numerous missing persons reports. We don't have the time or the funding to deal with this alleged theft--even if the City Watch had jurisdiction over the so-called "Field Ward"--which is not an official Ward of the City."
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The counterfeit "half-dragons" of Waterdeep
Mirtul 2, 1493 DR
According to reports from several prominent merchants in the city, the supply of ready currency in Waterdeep is currently being debased by a recent influx of gold dragons which contain about half of the gold in the standard gold dragon coin.
The situation was discussed at a recent meeting of the Council of Farmer-Grocers. According to the assembled guildmembers, the problem likely stems from a counterfeiting operation somewhere within the city. Guildmaster Zelderan Guthel recommended that grocers take precautions to avoid accepting counterfeit coins--and provided the assembled membership with several examples of the counterfeit debased coinage for members to examine.
According to Guildmaster Dunbold Laraeikan of the Guild of Trusted Pewterers and Casters, there has been an unusually high demand for raw tin for the past several months in Waterdeep. Guildmaster Laraeikan also noted that the inferior workmanship of examples of counterfeit coins he has seen supports the integrity of his guild--"No one from our guild would make such shoddy counterfeits--we're the Trusted Pewterers and Casters, our work is faultless, and we wouldn't risk our contracts with the First Bank of Waterdeep, or the Treasury over such a hairbrained scheme to debase the coin of our fair city."
At a recent conference with the Scriveners', Scribes', and Clerks' Guild, one of our reporters asked for further information, and Lady Laeral Silverhand addressed the situation directly. She noted that the First Bank of Waterdeep has noticed that roughly 5% of the monetary supply in current circulation consists of these inferior counterfeit coins.
The Open Lord further reminded the citizenry of Waterdeep that forgery and fencing stolen goods are crimes in Waterdeep. And that her Palace administration has opened an investigation into the situation. "Our agents in Treasury are working closely with the First Bank, and our contractors in the Guild of Trusted Pewterers and Casters. We will find those responsible for this counterfeiting operation, and bring them to face the justice of the City."
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Editorial
by Lord Victorio Cassalanter
Mirtul 3, 1493 DR
This is not the first crisis Silverhand has faced this year--need I remind the public of the ongoing gang war between the Xanathar Guild and the Black Network? The unrelenting and interminable murders, racketeering, drug smuggling, and other crimes which have wracked our fair city? Or the recent theft of King Ubtao from the Waterdeep Zoological Gardens?
My esteemed ancestor, Lord Caladorn Cassalanter, drove out the thieves guilds nearly a hundred years ago. And for a long time the City knew peace and prosperity--as the City maintained his policies of cracking down on, and rooting out organized crime in Waterdeep. Driving organized crime deep into hiding--in such places as Skullport. But recent changes under Silverhand's administration--such as the widely known policy of "keep the blood off the streets," along with the long-standing problem of the virtual "police-free" zone in the Field Ward, have allowed organized crime to grow and flourish once again in Waterdeep. We are now reaping the fruits of Silverhand's policies.
I call on the Lords of Waterdeep to take immediate action to protect our city from this growing threat of organized crime. In our efforts, we must not be afraid of "upsetting feelings" by warning people of the threat posed by certain groups. Instead of conducting "halfling-sensitivity" trainings for the City Watch, we must instead DEAL with the problems. Not with platitudes, but with CONCRETE ACTION. To that end, I put forward three concrete suggestions:
The Lords of Waterdeep must take immediate action to MAKE WATERDEEP GREAT AGAIN.
-- Lord Victorio Cassalanter
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Letter to the Editors
Mirtul 4, 1493 DR
Dear Editors,
Like Lord Cassalanter, my family has also been among the nobility of Waterdeep for many generations. My family came to this city half a millenium ago, and served with distinction in the First and Second Troll Wars. I found myself in agreement with many of the proposals laid out in Lord Cassalanter's editorial.
My only addition to the Cassalanter plan would be this. The Lords of Waterdeep should set a bounty on Xanathar, and deputize all interested parties to seek the Xanathar's Lair and kill him.
Sincerely yours,
Lord Djarrus Gost
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"Waterdeep's Open Lord Responds to Criticism"
Mirtul 4, 1493 DR
"I know that sadly in this moment there have been a lot of death threats," Silverhand responded. "And we know that just last year, agents of the Lord's Alliance uncovered a plot to kidnap and kill me. Death threats against me and my family. It's different in what I'm confronting than what some of my male predecessors in this office have faced."
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